How Secret Santa works
Secret Santa is a gift exchange where everyone draws one person to buy for, and keeps it a secret. Here’s the whole thing from start to finish, online or on paper.
Skip the reading: draw names now
The idea in one minute
Merriam-Webster defines Secret Santa as “a group gift exchange in which each person is secretly assigned to give a gift anonymously to one other person in the group”. Instead of everyone buying for everyone, which gets expensive fast in a big family or office, each person buys exactly one gift and receives exactly one gift.
Three things make it work:
- A random draw. Names are assigned by chance, and nobody gets themselves.
- Secrecy. You know who you’re buying for, but nobody knows who is buying for them. That’s the fun part.
- Shared rules. Everyone agrees on the same budget and the same date, so the gifts feel fair.
Step by step
- Pick an organizer. One person collects the names and runs the draw. The organizer can take part as well: with an online draw they don’t have to see the results.
- Agree the basics. Decide the budget, the exchange date and how the gifts will be handed over (at a party, at the office, by post). The Secret Santa rules page has a template you can copy.
- Collect names and rules. Ask who wants to take part and whether anyone shouldn’t draw a particular person, such as their partner or the person they had last year.
- Draw names. Use an online generator like this one, or paper slips in a hat (see below).
- Tell each person their match, privately. Online, each person gets their own link. On paper, each person draws a slip and keeps it to themselves.
- Shop and wrap. Use the wish list if there is one, stay within the budget, and label the gift with the recipient’s name.
- The exchange. Gifts are handed out on the day, often with a round of guessing who everyone’s Secret Santa was. Whether givers reveal themselves is up to the group.
Online draw or paper slips?
| Question | Online generator | Paper slips |
|---|---|---|
| Who needs to be there | Nobody: links are sent by message | Everyone, in the same room |
| Drawing yourself | Impossible | Happens often; redraw that slip |
| Couples and other exclusions | Handled automatically | Hard: people must swap slips quietly |
| Wish lists | Shown with the match | Shared separately |
| Organizer sees results | Only if they choose to | No (unless slips are marked) |
| Last two people | No problem | The last person may be left with their own name |
Paper slips are lovely at a party, but they have a classic flaw: whoever draws last may be left with their own name, and every exclusion makes it worse. An online draw checks every rule at once and only ever produces a valid result.
Drawing on paper the right way
- Write every name on an identical slip and fold each one the same way.
- Put them in a hat or bowl and let each person draw one.
- If anyone draws themselves, or someone they shouldn’t have, everyone puts their slip back and you start again. Swapping just that one slip gives away information.
- Keep going until a round finishes with nobody drawing themselves.
Want the best of both? Draw online, then press Print draw slips on the results screen: each slip shows a giver’s name on the outside and their match inside, ready to fold.
Groups of every size
| Group size | What to know |
|---|---|
| 3 people | Only two possible draws exist (A→B→C→A, or the reverse), so each person can work out the whole loop. Fine for fun, not for real secrecy. |
| 4 to 6 | Classic family size. Two-person swaps (you buy for each other) happen often; turn on “Avoid two-person swaps” if you’d rather not. |
| 7 to 20 | Typical for friends and teams. Exclusions for couples are easy to satisfy. |
| 21 to 100 | Large offices or clubs. Use a clear deadline, a shared note on where gifts go, and send links by direct message. |
Odd numbers are fine. Secret Santa doesn’t pair people up. The gifts go round in one or more loops, so 5, 7 or 13 people all work.
Too many exclusions? Each rule removes options. If the rules leave no possible draw (for example, two people who can both only draw the same third person), a good generator says so and tells you who is blocking it, rather than quietly breaking a rule.
A simple timeline
| When | What to do |
|---|---|
| 4–5 weeks before | Ask who’s in, agree the budget and the date. |
| 3–4 weeks before | Draw names and send the links. Ask everyone to add a wish list. |
| 2 weeks before | Reminder: shop now, especially for gifts that need posting. |
| 1 week before | Final reminder: wrap and label gifts. |
| The day | Exchange gifts and guess the Secret Santas. |
These are suggestions, not rules: a group of friends who meet next week can draw tonight. Postal gifts need extra time in December, so check your carrier’s last posting dates.
Where the names come from
Secret Santa goes by several names, and the same draw works for all of them.
- Secret Santa. Merriam-Webster lists 1986 as the first known use of the term in the gift-exchange sense.
- Kris Kringle and Kris Kindle. Kriss Kringle is an American name for Santa Claus. Merriam-Webster traces it to the German Christkindl, a diminutive of Christkind, the “Christ child”, a word that also means “Christmas gift”; its first known use in English is from 1830. Kris Kindle is a close variant of the same word, and both names are used for the gift draw itself.
- Pollyanna. Some families in the United States call the draw a Pollyanna. The word comes from the cheerful heroine of Eleanor H. Porter’s 1913 novel Pollyanna; how it came to be used for a gift exchange isn’t well documented.
- White elephant (not the same game). A “white elephant” is something of little value to its owner, according to Merriam-Webster, named after the pale elephants that were revered in parts of South and Southeast Asia and costly to keep. A white elephant exchange is a different party game: everyone brings a gift, then players take turns choosing or “stealing” one. Nobody is assigned to anyone.
The reveal
There are two reveals in Secret Santa. The first is private: each person finds out who they’re buying for. With this generator, that happens when they open their link and tap Reveal; the page shows their match, the wish list, the budget, the date and any note from the organizer, and can add the date to their calendar.
The second is the big one at the exchange. Popular options:
- Guess first. Each person opens their gift and guesses who gave it before the giver owns up.
- Clue tags. Givers write a riddle about themselves on the tag.
- Stay secret. Some groups never reveal, and that’s fine too. Agree which one you’re doing beforehand.
Organizer checklist
- Everyone has said yes (Secret Santa works best opt-in, especially at work).
- Budget, date and hand-over method are agreed and written in the note.
- Partners and other exclusions are set before the draw.
- Each link went to the right person in a private message.
- You know what to do if someone drops out (see the FAQ below).
- A reminder is planned a week before the exchange.
Frequently asked questions
What if we have an odd number of people?
That’s fine. Secret Santa doesn’t need pairs: each person gives one gift and receives one gift, and the gifts form loops (Alex buys for Sam, Sam buys for Jo, Jo buys for Alex). Any group of 3 or more works, odd or even.
How do I do Secret Santa with 3 people?
It works with 3, but be aware that with three people there are only two possible draws: A→B→C→A or the same loop the other way round. As soon as you know who you’re buying for, you can work out the whole loop. Many small groups are fine with that; if not, consider a white elephant or a shared family gift instead.
What if someone drops out after the draw?
The simplest fix keeps everyone else’s draw: the person who was buying for the drop-out now buys for whoever the drop-out had drawn. The organizer can look this up with “Show all pairs” and tell that one person privately. If several people drop out, or someone joins, it’s easier to remove or add them and draw again, then send everyone their new link.
When should you draw names?
Three to four weeks before the exchange is a comfortable amount of time for most groups: enough to shop or order online, without people forgetting who they drew. Allow more time if gifts need to be posted to remote members, especially in December.
How do you do Secret Santa over WhatsApp?
Draw the names here, then press WhatsApp next to each person. WhatsApp opens with a ready-made message containing that person’s private link, and you pick their chat. Send each link in a private chat, not in the group chat, or everyone could open everyone’s match.
What is Kris Kindle?
Kris Kindle is another name for Secret Santa: the same draw, where each person secretly buys for one other. It’s closely related to Kriss Kringle, an American name for Santa Claus that Merriam-Webster traces to the German Christkindl, meaning “Christ child” and also “Christmas gift”. You can use this generator for a Kris Kindle draw as it is.
What is Pollyanna?
Pollyanna is a name some families in the United States use for a Secret Santa–style draw. The word itself comes from the heroine of Eleanor H. Porter’s 1913 novel Pollyanna; how it came to mean a gift exchange isn’t well documented. The rules are the same as Secret Santa, so this generator works for it.
What’s the difference between Secret Santa and White Elephant?
In Secret Santa, everyone is assigned one specific person to buy for, and the giver is usually kept secret. In a white elephant exchange, everyone brings one gift for the pile, then players take turns opening a gift or “stealing” one that’s already been opened. Secret Santa is about a thoughtful gift for one person; white elephant is a party game, often with funny gifts.
Should you reveal yourself?
It’s up to the group, so agree in advance. Some groups reveal at the party, often by having people guess their Secret Santa first; others keep it secret forever. If your group hasn’t decided, it’s polite to stay secret unless asked.
Sources
- Merriam-Webster, “Secret Santa” (definition; first known use 1986): www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/Secret%20Santa
- Merriam-Webster, “Kriss Kringle” (etymology: German Christkindl): www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/Kriss%20Kringle
- Merriam-Webster, “Pollyanna” (from the 1913 novel by Eleanor H. Porter): www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/Pollyanna
- Merriam-Webster, “white elephant”: www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/white%20elephant
Updated · Written by the GiftShuffle team